then never ending rocky road

my heart is feeling so weird right now ..
i just did what i should've done weeks ago

i just can't stop thinking ...
i just can't stop looking back ..

my heart is weak ..
i should've been more careful in handing my fragile heart
after all the heart breakings
although i manage to put it back from pieces
but the scars still hurt

the scars ..
burning once in while
is now hurting me mroe and more frequently
it affecting me more and even more than usual
it affects my sleep
at the same time it affects me when i don't
it makes me emotionally unstable
at the same time it makes me numb
it makes me wanna be stronger
at the same time it makes me wanna cry
it makes me wanna move forward
at the same time it makes me look behind
it makes me wanna take good care of my it(my heart) with plasters
at the same time it makes me wanna stab it till the pain goes away

my emotion ...
how should i put it in words?
my feelings ...
how should i portray a picture of it?
my thoughts ...
how can i make it a melody?

i doono what is going on in my head
i doono what is wrong with my heart

finals is a day from now
and i have not even started reading
i just can't stop waiting ...
waiting for what i'm trying to give up ..